That bird is like your annoying younger sibling who just has to bother you when you want to take a nap. Have to applaud that cats patience!
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
BBQ perfume
Ladies, are you looking to get the attention of a real meat eater?
BBQ smells good to men. Why not wear it to get their attention. BBQ perfume, Oh yeah
Que, an intoxicating bouquet of spices, smoke, meat, and sweet summer sweat, is the latest development in wearable scents and is quickly becoming a hit among meat lovers, grill masters, and backyard BBQ'ers.
http://www.porkbarrelbbq.com/que/
BBQ smells good to men. Why not wear it to get their attention. BBQ perfume, Oh yeah
Que, an intoxicating bouquet of spices, smoke, meat, and sweet summer sweat, is the latest development in wearable scents and is quickly becoming a hit among meat lovers, grill masters, and backyard BBQ'ers.
Learn more at
http://www.porkbarrelbbq.com/que/
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Bonnie #12: A good eye test
I don't think your wishes will come true, but this is a good eye test. lol. I found them all. yea me! lol.
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Bonnie #11: The Year 2011
The Year 2011 is the year of Feng Shui and Luck, which I wish for you all.
The month of July this year has 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays.
This combination arrives only once every 623 years.
The Chinese call this phenomenon “The Sacs of money”.
If you pass on this message, Chinese tradition says you will receive money in 5 days. And according to Feng Shui, those who do not pass on this message will have financial problems for the rest of the year.
This combination arrives only once every 623 years.
The Chinese call this phenomenon “The Sacs of money”.
If you pass on this message, Chinese tradition says you will receive money in 5 days. And according to Feng Shui, those who do not pass on this message will have financial problems for the rest of the year.
This year is a bit special.
We will have 4 unusual dates:
1/1/11, 11/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/11/11 ... And that is not all.
Take the last two digits of the year of your birth and the age you will have or have this year, add them, and the sum for everyone is 111!
Ex: 63 + 48 = 111
We will have 4 unusual dates:
1/1/11, 11/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/11/11 ... And that is not all.
Take the last two digits of the year of your birth and the age you will have or have this year, add them, and the sum for everyone is 111!
Ex: 63 + 48 = 111
This year is the Year of Money and Wealth.
The month of October will have 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays and 5 Mondays!
This combination arrives only once every 823 years!
These years are called the years of Gain.
The month of October will have 5 Saturdays, 5 Sundays and 5 Mondays!
This combination arrives only once every 823 years!
These years are called the years of Gain.
The proverb says that if you pass on this message to 8 good friends you will discover money in the next 4 days!
And the rule of Feng Shui also says that if you do not you will receive nothing!
This is all very mysterious - but perhaps it is worth the try!!
And the rule of Feng Shui also says that if you do not you will receive nothing!
This is all very mysterious - but perhaps it is worth the try!!
Here's to your luck.
Bonnie #10: How yodeling began
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.
The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'
'It's a fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'He needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'
The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! And she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!'
'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!'
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....
'LAIDTHEOLADEETOO'
Bonnie #9: Sweat-shirt
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to at least five bright funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
Life may not be the party you hoped for... But while you are here, you may as well dance!
Bonnie #8: market research
A man doing market research knocked on a door and was
Greeted by a young woman with three small children running
Around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.
Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'
'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie
To me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a
Gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I
Admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me
Exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on the
Door knob and it keeps the kids out.'
And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...!
Greeted by a young woman with three small children running
Around at her feet. He says, 'I'm doing some research for Vaseline.
Have you ever used the product?'
She says, 'Yes. My husband and I use it all the time.'
'And if you don't mind me asking, what do you use it for?'
'We use it for sex.'
The researcher was a little taken back. 'Usually people lie
To me and say that they use it on a child's bicycle chain or to help with a
Gate hinge. But, in fact, I know that most people do use it for sex. I
Admire you for your honesty. Since you've been frank so far, can you tell me
Exactly how you use it for sex?'
The woman says, 'I don't mind telling you at all...
My husband and I put it on the
Door knob and it keeps the kids out.'
And you thought it was gonna be a dirty joke...!
Shame on you
Bonnie #7: Mole
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Bonnie #6: Japanese Hotel Service
Japanese Hotel Service A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan ... Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, He called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. 'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.' Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted 15.00 Yen, And stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, Which reflected the best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, 20.00 Yen'. 'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, And the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out His hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 1 Yen.' The salesman looked both ways, put one Yen in the machine, Unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony And almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... ...which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.. |
Bonnie #4: New Use for Windex
New use for Windex
If you ever get the sudden urge to run around naked,
You should sniff some Windex first.
It'll keep you from streaking.
Bonnie #3: THE COCHRANE MURAL
THE COCHRANE MURAL----- LOOK CLOSELY BY CLICKING ON
ANY PART OF THE MURAL
For those not living in Canada, Cochrane is NW of Calgary and
For those not living in Canada, Cochrane is NW of Calgary and
East of Banff, in the foothills of the Rockies. This mural was
Unveiled last week at the Cochrane Ranch House.
Each tile is 1 foot square, is it's own individual picture and each
Each tile is 1 foot square, is it's own individual picture and each
Is by a different artist. All of them together form this huge mural.
You can click on each of the tiles to see them in detail.
Check out, especially, the horse's eye.
Click on any square that makes up the mural
Check out, especially, the horse's eye.
Click on any square that makes up the mural
To see what the square really is.
Bonnie #2 : Salesman
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.
It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.
Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home ?
Bonnie #1
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace. Dr Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos, and a box of chocolates, and a half bottle of scotch.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel right now.
Pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Turtle loves the mirror
Turtle sees itself in the mirror for the first time.
Steve the turtle loves looking at himself in the mirror - with hilarious consequences!
Steve the turtle loves looking at himself in the mirror - with hilarious consequences!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Canada's funny Web reaction to 'Rapture'
Canadians unleashed another force on May 21, 2011, the day the world was supposed to end. Our unique humour
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/sex-booze-souvenirs-canadians-set-making-most-rapture-202232293.html
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/sex-booze-souvenirs-canadians-set-making-most-rapture-202232293.html
Saturday, May 21, 2011
May 21st Doomsday: Judgment Day By The Numbers
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/05/20/may-21-doomsday-numbers_n_864195.html#s280776&title=265001
Do Jamaicans believe the world is ending on this Saturday ...
Do Jamaicans believe the world is ending on this Saturday ...
May 21st Doomsday Songs: 21 Songs For The Impending Apocalypse
It's the end of the world as we know it. Apparently.
Harold Camping, the man behind the May 21, 2011, judgement day "campaign" is thoroughly convinced that the day marks the beginning of the end. Then again, he did get it wrong once before.
In any case, there's still a chance we're all doomed on Saturday (or at least 2012 for that matter - it's totally going to happen). So there's only one question left to ask.
What would you listen to as humanity came to an end? Hard rock? Classical? Something on the lighter side?
We've put together some of the quintessential end of the world songs below, but we'd love to hear from you. Feel free to tell us about your doomsday soundtrack below, but then again none of that's going to matter in a few days anyway.
Hell's lounge singer, Nick Cave, performs Bob Dylan's hopeful/hopeless song about what comes after death with Kylie Minogue, Shane McGowan and the Bad Seeds
Skeeter performs her signature hit. From 1965
A little ditty about Jesus, Judas, betrayal, suicide and how all is forgiven (hopefully) when the world ends.
Morrissey - Everyday Is Like Sunday by scootaway
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