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Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began?
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland
Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night.
The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer's daughter asked her father, 'Who is that man going into the barn?'
'It's a fellow traveling through,' said the farmer. 'He needs a place to stay for the night, so, I told him he could sleep in the barn.'
The daughter said, 'Perhaps he is hungry.' So she prepared him a plate of food for him and then took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing disheveled and straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer's wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn,! And she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. 'How could he leave without even saying goodbye,' she cried. 'We made such passionate love last night!'
'What?' shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, 'I'm going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!'
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out.....
'LAIDTHEOLADEETOO'
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Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
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One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma .'
And they say blondes are dumb...
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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
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'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
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Send this to at least five bright funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!
Life may not be the party you hoped for... But while you are here, you may as well dance!
Shame on you
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Japanese Hotel Service A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo Japan ... Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, He called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises. 'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.' Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted 15.00 Yen, And stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, Which reflected the best haircut of his life. Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read, 'Manicures, 20.00 Yen'. 'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, And the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out His hands and they were perfectly manicured. The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 1 Yen.' The salesman looked both ways, put one Yen in the machine, Unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening. When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony And almost passed out. Fifteen seconds later it shut off.. With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit... ...which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.. |
A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.
It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other and a Penthouse magazine tucked under his arm.
Salesman: "Hello son. Is your mom or dad home ?
